Pintrest

Who would have thought that Pintrest could inspire a whole blog about relationships? Well I keep seeing a quote on Pintrest that says, "Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son just like him." And I read it over and over and it really just sank in how true that statement is. My husband and I don't have human children just yet but the truth is still there. When your little boy comes home from school, don't you want him to run into your arms and give you a big hug and kiss and then tell you about what he learned that day? Why should your husband be any different? When my husband comes home the first thing he does is hug and kiss me like it's the last thing he'll ever do. I ask him about his day, about the crazy customers he ran into, or the old lady that always brings him banana bread. I genuinely want to know these things. And as a wife I think you should too. You don't have to understand the techie stuff or complicated things about his job, but care about what he did that day, what he learned, who he happened to run into, etc. When you take an interest in him, he'll take an interest in you. Yes, his day may be boring, but look at yourself. Was your day really any more exciting?  Think about what other qualities you would want in a son. I hope to have a son that is adventurous, carefree, and someone who always seems to find a little bit of trouble. My husband always seems to be in trouble... Or if there are any men reading this, what would you want in a daughter? Beautiful, funny, smart, witty... If you're not married, think about those things before you go on your next date. Why are you really going out with this person? Is it because you think you can get lucky or because you think you really just might care about this person? I really wonder if people think about the real reasons they are with someone, especially someone who doesn't care about them.

I've been through enough bad relationships to see one a mile away. I've seen the girls who have been abused or neglected and the guys who are just being used as arm candy. If you don't see yourself with that person in 5, 10, 15 years... STOP! And go find someone who you can see yourself with. That treats you like the lady and gentleman that you are. Someone who loves your sense of humor and who will laugh and cry with you. Someone who takes the time to ask how your day went. Maybe even someone who will help you cook dinner every once in a while. Someone who will kiss you in public not to make someone jealous but to  just let you know that even though you're right beside them, they are thinking about you. Someone that if you are day dreaming, you smile because your thoughts have wondered to them.

I know... it sounds too good to be true. Who can actually be this good? The answer... the One God created for YOU! Don't try to just settle. No one deserves to settle for anything less than what they deserve. I got lucky and found the man of my dreams at the age of 20 and got married at 23 (on my birthday as a matter of fact). So what if you're 25 and single? 30 and single? You're experiences that you are having now are the ones that are shaping you into the person you're meant to be for someone else. My husband had gone through hell before he met me. But neither of us would change that because I love who he is because of what he went through. You never stop growing personally, spiritually, and sometimes physically... but just be patient. You'll find him/her. Just don't settle in the mean time. 

First thoughts

So my husband and I have been married for just over 3 months now. So I realize I may not be an expert at being married yet, but maybe you're going through what I am. And just maybe we can all help each other.

Lesson 1: Don't lie. That should be pretty straight-forward right? But what about for something small? I didn't get all of my school work done and when my husband asked me about it, I said it was done. I know... Bad wife. This didn't just happen one week... it happened several. I started having nightmares about it because I knew my test was coming up. Now test time is here and I'm up a creek without a paddle. He was trying to be the sweet encouraging husband and I lied to him. Some would call this karma I bet. I would. So what do I do now? Work by big butt off!

Lesson 2: Fighting. We have been together long enough that I can say that if you think you're never going to fight with your significant other... You're just plain WRONG! Even the best matched couples will fight. But what do we fight about? Usually over something stupid and small; not a make-or-break-I-want-a-divorce-now fight. If you're like us, you chain smoke until you calm down enough to not want to rip the other's face off. Every couple is different. It takes me a while to get mad, but when I do... Oh boy. Watch out. Hell has never seen such fury. If I wanted to I could blame the chemical imbalance in my brain that makes me do crazy things, but I am who I am. Bipolar or not. But when (not if) you have a fight, calm down and then resolve it. We never go to bed without resolving the issues. What will happen if you don't resolve it? You turn into someone who brings it up 6 months later and shoves it in your partner's face. That's just not nice! And usually 6 months later you've stewed to the point that you're hotter than the fiery depths of hell. So just talk to each other. It may not be easy but it has to be done. Besides, what will your kids think about their parents who can't resolve issues? Don't think they won't be affected because they will. No kid likes to hear or see their parents fight. It really does make them feel worse about themselves.

Recap for today's lesson... Don't lie and finish the fight!

Please leave ideas for the next blog!